“Don’t do it then!”

Okay.

An inside joke changed my life.

Me and a friend were on this bus that sometimes did a double shift on Sundays, going the extra mile all the way down to the beach.

So it was rich watching the driver not a give a shit about an elderly woman struggling with her stuff off his bus while on a break.

He’s “busy”, cleaning smoke off side and  rear view mirrors like he didn’t see her sweating there.

She’s really busting his balls, telling him how “most gentlemen” helped her out with that sort of thing.

And all he said was,

Okay.

Just like that, sincerely not bothered! And ever since I’ve always found it inspirational how jerks are nonplussed in public about that sort of thing. Because they know who they are and don’t care what I think.

I thought about the times I didn’t really want to give up my seat, or take pictures for tourists or stop to make eye contact with a homeless person asking for spare change, so I’ve pulled out my phone and got busy scrolling like I was on a break too.

Resenting the guilt that stops me from playing games because it’s what Jesus would do and people are watching. Hoping my smile was convincing and totally missing the point.

I made a full circle connection today, seeing how gross fake nice looked when I saw it on the guy short turning his streetcar to the beach.

Unaware of the dramatic irony for me watching him “offer” unwanted help to an old lady, struggling with her dignity and bags of groceries up the steps.

He actually says,

You shouldn’t pack your bag so heavy next time then…if you want my help!

Rolling his eyes at us, exasperated. Waiting for solidarity from some patron just as annoyed as this regular Mother Teresa at the end of his shift.

Don’t do it then!

I’m sure I’ve actually said this out loud because I can hear myself busting his balls and people are just sitting there, not sure if they should laugh.

What was that?

Only a week after Mother’s Day he comes right up to me to me with this! So I spell it out,

DON’T. DO. IT. THEN, not if you’re going to be a jerk about it.

Ohhh, she’s just like my mom.

Poor woman. He’s buddy tapping my elbow with his elbow, back peddling to his seat as if his mother doesn’t haul stuff up and down all over town by herself all the time because he’s got his own problems.

And I know that he knows that I know when all I have to say is,

Okay.

Tagged: Aging, Common Courtesies, Dignity, Full Circle Larry David Moment, Life, Public Transit, Solidarity, Streetcars, Sushi Balls, Toronto, TTC

Posted in: Shout Outs