It’s about the buffer seat.
Please don’t sit there. Not when there are plenty of other perfectly good seats available.
“Sharon, I’m confused, what’s a buffer seat?”
Ah, yes. It’s generally the middle seat in a three-seater on the TTC if someone has already occupied either bookend-seats of the said three-seater. If you’re sitting alone in a two-seater and there are plenty of other perfectly good seats available, you have made your seat mate just as uncomfortable.
Don’t sit there if there are plenty of perfectly good seats available because it’s weird. It’s weird because, generally, the emotionally unbalanced, flashers and pickpockets impose that kind of unsolicited intimacy on strangers.
“But what if seating in a ‘buffer seat’ has nothing to do with you, Sharon. Has it occurred to you that maybe I just like seating in that particular seat and I would have sat there whether you occupied a bookend or the one out of the two available seats in a two-seater?”
Sure it’s occurred to me, and I have one for you, why don’t you pick a new favourite seat?
Like say, the seat of your bicycle or the driver’s seat of the car you’ll drive about town instead of taking the subway with the rest of the patrons who honour the buffer seat code because this isn’t a restaurant. I’m afraid your $3 fare doesn’t entitle you to a reservation.
So to be clear, zeroing in from the other end of the subway car, right past lots of perfectly good available seats with determined heavy stepping as you barrel toward the buffer seat beside me makes you look nuts and that makes sitting beside you uncomfortable.
You might have talked yourself out of it and maybe even chalked it up to paranoia but you were right. I was rolling my eyes, muttering under my breath and complaining telepathically to the other honour-bound patrons who couldn’t believe it either.
Orthopedic ballerina flats, Bloor Street and The Danforth, this post is for you.
Related post: “You’re a cringe#”: A Paraphrased Lady Sovereign Retweet 1 Day Ago
Suzie Ivy
September 27, 2011
Oh Sharon, I would sit in the buffer seat just to watch people squirm. Then I would write a post about their reaction to the situation. Now how fun would that be?
Sharon
September 27, 2011
And you would too, wouldn’t you, you sassy girl. Oh Suzie, move to Toronto. We have lots of criminals here that need arresting.
Suzie Ivy
September 27, 2011
I would love to but they would probably make me go through another academy and I’d rather eat worms. A visit some day would be wonderful though and I have a guest room in my home as well. You could do a ride along in my patrol car and help me fight crime.
Sharon
September 27, 2011
Sadly, they probably would but the idea of a ride in your patrol car!!!
Ruby Tuesday
September 27, 2011
Ugh. I have major personal space issues. Did you ever see the film Dirty Dancing? And if you didn’t what the hell is wrong with you, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it now, because “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”
Back to the point, this is my dance space, this is your dance space. You invade my dance space without invitation and you will be sorry.
Sharon
September 27, 2011
I couldn’t agree with you more
kateshrewsday
September 27, 2011
It is good to hear an authoritative voice on The Buffer Seat, Next step is to design signage for the use of the TTC. Hmmm….
Sharon
September 27, 2011
This is hilarious and something I might actually consider doing in my free time…
ifiwerebraveblog
September 27, 2011
Your only option in this situation is to out-crazy the buffer seat sitter and thereby frighten him away. Takes some effort and you’ve really got to commit to the performance, but I think you can do it. Next time, try whispering “I hate orange marmalade” and then repeat it at increasing volume until you have the elbow room you deserve.
Sharon
September 27, 2011
You are very funny. This is exactly the kind of thing I’d like to try because I’m working up my nerve to take a drama or improv class. Excellent suggestion. Will keep you posted.
Seeing Clarely
September 27, 2011
I found some of the commenters’ challenges to you to be hilarious. It would be interesting to read about a study of reactions to this violation of personal space. I’m not about to do the research, though, since I do like my space too.
Sharon
September 28, 2011
I’m on the case. Seriously.
lahgitana
September 29, 2011
And then there’s the personal space issue as a female, blue-eyed Westerner getting into, standing in, or getting off of a bus in Taipei, Taiwan. …
Sharon
September 30, 2011
Don’t even get me started on the empathy train. Awkward.
Mac
September 29, 2011
SO. EFFING. TRUE. I defriend people on facebook when I find out they don’t follow the buffer seat rule. That’s how serious I am about it.
Sharon
September 30, 2011
I mean, really, it’s a universal law of public transit.